You're right. Sometimes she's in the mood, sometimes she isn't. She usually just tells me. I do romantic things for her because I love her, not to have sex. One of the reason I love her is that she doesn't think she is doing me a favor for having sex with me like you seem to think. It's something that is mutually enjoyable, or we don't do it.

Additionally she also doesn't think it's cool when someone uses someone else for dinner. At least she doesn't think it's quite as neat as you do. When we were dating, she was careful about what she ordered and she tried to contribute when she could. She thanked me when I treated her to dinner. I never worried about how much I spent because she was always finding ways to return the favor. Maybe not paying for stuff, but it was something and it wasn't sex.

We treated each other with respect and kindness. I guess that's why we're still married after 20 years.