You're not really talking about protection. You're talking about using your man as a threat of violence in order to coerce desired behavior. I'm admittedly not a theologean, but I don't think that is what Ephesians 5 is about.

Regardless, if your man is comfortable using the threat of violence to coerce others into desired behavior on your behalf, don't be surprised when he uses the threat of violence to get desired behavior from you. I remember this article:

https://medium.com/hello-love/women-are-not-choosing-bad-men-men-are-choosing-to-be-bad-28040114323c

And I actually agreed with you. However, If you choose men that are abusive to others, who is to blame when he becomes abusive to you?