You don't know how I am looking at things. I haven't described a single situation. What you are describing is not something I would characterize as a woman perpetrating violence. I am saying that there are situations where women and men perpetrate violence. If a woman goes into rage, because of something a man says or does and throws a bottle at him or stabs him with a kitchen knife, that is perpetrating violence. That is not defense. Women often perpetrate violence the same reason men do: coercion and control.

When you assume that only men try to control women and never the other way around, then you are engaging in gender essentialism. Equal power may not even factor into it. It's possible that a man could overpower a woman, but he won't make use of that advantage because it's not his particular nature. It's possible that a woman will abuse her partner, even though she's physically smaller and weaker. It often has more to do with personality than it has to do with physical strength. Men are socialized to be aggressive, true. However, that is also what keeps men from reporting DV/IPV: stigma. Attitudes like yours do not help.

Women can be just as sinister as men can be. According to Murray Straus's research, women perpetrate violence as often as men do. You can say that his research is biased, but you have no evidence, no standing to do so.