This is so broad of a grievance. It places men who are abusive, violent and controlling with those that are just flawed and human. The existence of imperfect men is not a symptom of the patriarchy. Smashing the patriarchy will not magically create perfect men. Men and women are both equally capable of behaving in self centered ways. Imperfection is a human condition. Heartbreak and disappointment are facts of life. If a man leaves you, lies to you or cheats on you, that's not a gendered issue. Women do that too. It's another thing if he beats you, sexually assaults you or leaves you saddled with a shared responsibility (like a child). That's gendered.