Thanks for writing this. I think the expectation of the guy to pay for the date is the very beginning of the patriarchy in the relationship. It establishes him as the bread winner and reinforces traditional roles in the relationship from the very beginning. As feminists, you might consider offering to split the check. If he insists, let him, but use it as a moment to discuss why it is important to him. Men use the bread winner role later to justify a lesser participation in domestic duties. Women who have to contribute more domestically struggle to compete in the work place. It's a vicious cycle and the first date is where it starts.