Sorry Shannon,

I disagree with most of what you have written except for this right here. I've had multiple relationships with women who approached me first. In fact, I've been married to one for 20 years. Looking back, the ones who have "hurt" me were, objectively speaking, out of my league.

They were all good women and it was never their intention to hurt me. However, being out of my league set the relationship up to have a power imbalance. Those women still didn't intentionally try to hurt me, but at times they took advantage of that power imbalance. It's hard not to, that is the nature of power imbalances. Over time, they became discontent in the relationship because it became obvious to them that we weren't equally matched. They ended the relationship before any real harm was done.

There is only one woman who "hurt" me in a lasting way. She approached me first. She was out of my league. She also was not predatory. She was, however, my first love. And as Cat Stevens sang: the first cut is the deepest.

I don't think that assertive women are innately predatory. I think if a woman shoots her shot and she seems like someone you would typically date and you usually have the ability to attract, you should consider it. In my opinion, it only becomes a red flag when she takes and never reciprocates. That's not a problem for me anyway, such women are kind of a turn off for me.