Sometimes it's more subtle than that. I would never have said that taking care of the children was women's work. Me and my wife shared the tasks of raising our children. However, if we were failing in some way, my wife always felt more personally responsible. For example, if the kids are struggling in school, she would take charge of that situation. She would, in fact, tell me what to do. "Zach has 3 assignments that were due last week that he didn't turn in. I spoke with the teacher and she said she'll accept them on Monday for partial credit. Please stay on him and make sure it finishes them this weekend. Sometimes he responds better to you." Right or wrong, she felt that the cleanliness of the house, and the safety and happiness of the children reflected on her success as a person. She was socialized that way.

Similarly, we both worked and contributed to household income and we both manage our collective finances. However, if we are struggling to make ends meet, I felt personally responsible. I usually drove the cheaper car, spent less money on myself and watched our bank account. I focused more on my career than she did and made sure that my salary went up to support our expanding lifestyle. It's not that she wasn't working and contributing, it's that I felt more personally responsible. Right or wrong, I felt that our financial situation reflected on my success as a person. I was sociallized that way.