It was much easier for me to get once I understood that prejudice and bigotry weren't necessarily racism. The absence of reverse racism isn't a blanket approval for non-white people to treat white people anyway they want. If you're being hateful and mean, then that's what it is no matter what your race is. It's not racism unless it's accompanied by hegemony. On another note, a non-white person describing their reaction to living in a racist society is not hateful. It's just their experience.