If my girlfriend had decided to have children then I would have become an unwilling parent. I would have been forced to parent a child that I didn't want. I would have been expected to just accept it, even though it would have affected my life in a very significant way. Do you think that would be justified in blaming her for ruining my life? Probably not. Why then must I feel grateful to her for saving me from that? She made her choice for her benefit, not mine. I feel lucky.