If it were just women or queens who were in power then it would be less violent.

The author made a compelling case with historical examples that once in power, women aren't any different than men. Those queens were despots. They had total power, regardless of whether you consider it a patriarchy or not. What did they do with that power? They abused it. Absolute power corrupts absolutely and women are not immune to that.

BTW so does this make women slaves since in reality men ran the show from top to bottom???

Until the last couple of centuries, men and women had no say in government. Most people were, in my opinion, the same as slaves.