I think they're both wrong. While she may balk at spending the inheritance on his school debt, the income should coming into the family should be shared regardless of it's source. If she is hoarding that income for her personal use, especially while they are struggling to make ends meet, that's wrong. If it were me, I wouldn't respond by doing the same thing. Like my dad always says, two wrongs don't make a right. For me, her keeping income to herself would constitute a pretty fundamental breach of trust with me as her partner. I would be filing for divorce.