The primary point I was making is that a man doesn't get to 'seem' to pay if he doesn't have the money. That is silly

Your response implies that the woman is trading her time for a treat. I feel that a woman and a man's time are equally important. They are sharing their time together. I only agree that men should pay for dates in adherence to social norms. I wish those norms would change, but they haven't.

However, if the couple is dating long term (months), then I don't think it's absurd for a man to expect his partner to share the expenses of dating. I find the 'grown man' trope a bit tiresome. Similarly I might ask why can't a 'grown woman' contribute?