I have two older kids (20M, 15F). I was not attracted to my wife when she got pregnant and she never looked the same after having our first child. After that, she looked like a mom. She was a mom and I was a dad. In a short time, we went from being a cute childfree couple to being mom and dad. It was really weird for me.

She had gained weight and she was never able to get her body back to pre-birth shape. I knew that was common and I didn't judge her for it. I never complained about her weight. I didn't have to, she was obsessed about it. Instead I would tell her that her weight change didn't have any effect on how much I loved her. Which was true, I never stopped loving her. I just wasn't as physically attracted to her. I don't think I ever will be as physically attracted to her as I was when we were first married. She was hot.

That physical attraction was replaced by admiration. She's been such a good mom. She's a thoughtful partner. She has a great sense of humor. With small children, there's not as much time for going to the gym or running. Even if there were, we were exhausted so much of the time. I gained weight too. Part of me was dealing with the fact that I was getting older, fatter and hairier too.

Over the years, I've come to feel that we actually look good for our age (53 and 57). I've come to appreciate her smile, her goofiness (she's really goofy) and I feel so safe and comfortable with her. I think that the passionate, lustful attraction of youth isn't sustainable and it typically evolves into love, trust and contentedness (if you're lucky). It's not as sexy, but It's still pretty fucking good.