I agree with you and I appreciate what you are saying.

It's not your fault, however, online Feminists often use "Patriarchy hurts men too" as a way to shutdown conversations about men's issues. Often, they follow that up with "Men put the systems in place, why can't they fix them? Why do they expect women to do it for them?"

Or they conclude that fixing women's issues (which is smashing the patriarchy) will magically address men's issues as well. (i.e. trickle down equality)

They treat men as a monolith. Again, you're not doing that. However, I think that's what he's talking about.

That being said, I don't think Feminism is simply about gender equality. That's egalitarianism, which is an ideal...not a movement. It describes an ideal state, rather than a call to action. Feminism women's advocacy on the basis of gender equality. It's an egalitarian movement whose call to action is to address injustices that women face.

While some feminists, like you, care about men's issues, I don't think Feminism does. Feminism is about women, and that's OK. Men's advocacy needs it's own movement. Men's issues in the context of Feminism will always take a backseat.